Heartless

I chose to title this blog heartless because some may say that is the way I am being or the way that this blog is portrayed. Let me just tell you that I am far from that, I just feel that I have done enough and been through enough in my lifetime to know what is right and what is wrong. I know some of you may have heard my little rant on twitter earlier today about my ex but let me break it down just a little bit more. I met this man in 2007 we dated for about a year. I decided that I wanted to move to California. The relationship itself was already complicated. That is a long story in itself and for those who know me personally know the background. This man is a man from back home whom I grew very fond of he was one that did not judge me wanted just the best for me no matter what. He allowed me to make my own decisions and was willing to be there through all of them( or so I thought).

We split up before I moved to California, I did not keep in touch with him because it wasn't fair to me or my heart, so I played the smart role and tended to my business. Now we are in 2010 and he contacts me on twitter. I wasn't mad by no means, I was actually elated to hear from him. We talked for hours just about everything that has been going on in his life as well as mine. We knew what we had was rather strong and thought that we could get it back so he asked if we can give it a try, I explained the distance and the fact that we have had time between us and I have met people along the way. That was fine for him not a problem. I asked for him to just whatever he does always keep it 100 with me and we will be fine.I told him to think of me just like he did before when I assumed he was telling me everything. So a few days had passed and I hadn't heard from him. I didn't worry being the woman that I am I just proceeded with my business as usual. I had the passwords to all his emails and facebook accounts so since I hadn't heard from him I changed all of them, I knew then that would get his attention. I didn't want him to really say much but just to tell me the truth. So when he finally called, of course I was furious, "he said my mouth was reckless" needless to say. (and to know me back then never) So it took him by surprise. I asked him since I haven't heard from you at least did you smash, he tells me no I didn't. Whatever who the hell believes that story so the week went on and I just knew that he was lying so finally Friday night I told him stop lying to me and tell me the truth and he was like yes I did smash but it didn't mean anything to me. I was like that is not the point I could care less that you smashed its the fact that you lied to me which only leaves me to believe that it did mean something to you. Don't say to me that you are sparing my feelings its you the one that is confused, you can't understand the mere fact that you went out and fucked and can't even own up to it what type of MAN does that...LMFAO So of course through the rest of the conversation I am just laughing at everything he is saying which is making him more heated at me, so he says why are you laughing and I was just like because no reason to get mad and shed tears no man is worth my tears anymore especially one that lies about the simplest things. He gives met this long drawn out explanation as to why it happened I don't need to know all that all I wanted to know is why you lied to me...uh duh....

I will and have never given up on love but I do know that love is blind and before I allow anyone to not let me see what is right in front of me I would much rather be by myself.

The moral to my blog is that,I am a good honest,humble woman with her flaws please don't mistake me but by far I am the one that you would not expect trust me. People get that misconception that oh she does porn blah blah blah, but meanwhile you know nothing about me read up on my blogs they will tell a story little by little about me. I am that all around lady that you would never imagine but I stay low-key and love who I am and make no excuses about it but trust me when I tell you I am very intelligent when its really comes down to it.

I am not the one to argue and cause a big splat over bullshit. I would rather kill you with kindness and see you eat off that than allow you to bring me into your misery. I won't allow anyone to tell me that I am not good enough or for your judgment to withstand the PHENOMENAL WOMAN I strive to become..


One Luv