You Said

You said that you wanted me to be your girl, I just knew that I would be your world. You said that my life is want you wanted to bless, I just knew that you would leave me for all rest. You said that I was the one that had you heart, I just knew you would tear mines apart. You said that on your shoulder I could cry, I just knew it was not a lie. You said that you wanted me part of your life, I just knew that I would be your wife. You said that with you I would always be safe, I just knew with you my past was erased. You said you would always hold me tight, I just knew
that with you I would never have to fight. You said that you wanted me to trust you, I just knew it would always feel new. You said with you I will always have a place, I just knew with you I wouldn't have to chase. You said please accept this ring, I just knew you would be my King.


You said.

I JUST WANT

I just want to be with you, with the promise you will never leaving feeling blue.
I just want to be your queen, with a promise you will always leave me to be seen.
I just want to be the one you hold, with a promise you will never leave me out in the cold.
I just want to be the one who has your heart, with a promise you will never tear mines apart.
I just want to be the one you love, with a promise that we will soar like the heavens above.
I just want to be the one you trust, promise me that this is not lust.
I just want to be the one you choose, with a promise that through it all we will never lose.
I just want to be the beat in your heart, with a promise that we will never depart.
I just want to be the light in your day, with a promise tat you will never stray.
I just want to be the star in your eyes, with a promise that you will never leave me to cry.
I just want to be the moon in your world, promise me that I will always be your girl.
I just want to be constant song in your life, with a promise someday you will make me your wife.

I JUST WANT

I thought

I thought it was you who would be true who would of guessed you would leave me feeling blue. I thought it was me that you wanted by your side when all along you just wanted to run and hide. I thought you were the one when in reality you just wanted to run. I thought it was my heart you would keep, now all I have are these deep feelings of you being untrue and all along you knew. I thought you would be the one I call my KING, who would have known that it was misery you would bring. I thought you had my back, now my traces I have to track. I thought you wanted me, I never knew that you would flee. I thought you were the one I trusted when all along for you it was just me you lusted. I thought you would bring me joy. never knew that I was just a toy. I thought you were the man that could do no wrong, who would have known that you would bring me harm. I thought you were the one to hold me tight, never knew that you would be like a thief in the night. I thought with me you would try, who would have known that you would just leave me to sit and cry. I thought you would care, who would have known that I would have to share. I thought you were the moon and stars, who would have known that you would be so far. I thought that it was me you wanted in you life, who would have known you would have cut my heart with a knife. I thought I was your girl, who would have known you had no plan to make me part of your world. I thought with you I would never place blame, now I sit here in shame. I thought with me you wanted the best, now I know it was all a test. I thought with you it would never be a fight, who would have known that I would be taking this flight. I thought with you we would be a team, who would have known you would never let me be seen. I thought in you I found a true man, now here alone I stand. I thought with me you would stay,who would have known I have to go so far away.

I thought

One Day

One day the one will treasure me, I know then he will never flee
One day the one will know my worth,because it feels like heaven on earth.
One day the one for me will know that I am all he needs, he will never leave my heart to bleed.
One day the one for me will treat me like his Queen, he will always allow me to be seen.
One day the one for me will bless my world with his love, he will make me soar like the heavens above.
One day the one for me will hold me tight, letting me know that everything will be alright.
One day the one for me will make me smile, we will have our child.
One day the one for me will know that I am his girl, I will always be his world.
One day the one for me will have my heart, always telling me that we will never part.
One day the one for me will give me his hand , with him is where I stand.
One day the one for me will know that he is my KING, on that day I will have my ring.
One day the one for me will never stray, because in his arms I will always stay.
One day the one for me will always be true, because he promised he will never leave me feeling blue.
One day the one for me will cherish my heart, because he promised he would never cut it apart.
One day the one for me will know I am his dream, because I will never be his play thing.
One day the one for me will choose to do right, he will never want me out of sight.
One day the one for me will never leave me to cry, because with me he will forever try.

One Day

"Bad Girl Gone Good"/ New Beginning"

"Bad Girl Gone Good"/ New Beginning"

Not sure if most of you have noticed but I have changed my name on twitter to "JustKBLove". I have decided to take another avenue toward my future. I have left the adult film industry as of April 13th. I did my last scene for "Ghetto Gaggers". I will tell you that the scene was intense but I can say that the director and everyone was very nice so respectful and just all around one of the best sets I have been on. This has been a long time coming, I know some of you may be wondering how did this come about? What made me make this decision? or many other questions.

Well I am going to tell you in my own words. I felt that it was time for me to make a change, when it comes to deciding whether to have a place to rest my head or to chase behind a black hole that is slowly closing right in front of me. You tell me which road would you take? I found out somethings the hard way, but one thing I can say is that I have learned a lot. I will not bash the industry because it was what it was and everything comes to an end.

I won't give a tell-tell all as I have somethings in the works but I do want to share some of my experiences within the industry that I have run across. I can say that I was never made to do anything that that I didn't want, I was never disrespected by anyone(at least on set). I learned a lot about my sexuality as well as others. I have met a lot of people some for the good but more for the bad. One of many reasons why I chose to leave is because of what it has to offer and to me personally I feel nothing no sense of entitlement or a higher elevation. I was in the business since 2007 and I feel no sense of growth. There are many who make it through and build from it, but not all of us can be that "lucky" I use that word lightly because I wouldn't call it luck at least not from my perspective, knowing that I want a career as and LPN. I never sought to make porn my career. I knew coming in that it was not going to be easy but never thought that the road get's that rough, but one thing I can say we live and we learn and there are always reasons why things happen so.

Some said that there is no way out or you won't get out, make it however you have to believe in yourself to get out and want a new beginning. I realized that and know that more than ever now I want that 9-5, go to school just be that old KB. The change had to start with me. I had to make the initiative to get out. The industry is not all red roses it does have many flaws that others may or refuse to tell you, but as you read above times do get hard and you may think that "you are the shit" but its not you who makes that decision. I can also say that this is one industry that is so "white is right" and please don't mistake me I am far from prejudice I just speak the real and my experience... The reason why I used that term is because as you can see most or all "contract girls" are white all that win awards are white. I am not saying that I ever wanted any of it but if I did or strive for that I would have been highly disappointed.

Black companies are the same as well as white companies I must say that when it comes to hiring certain talent either your white, you have to have a big ass, lower your rates, kiss ass and be well known name just to name a few things that have been thrown at me. I feel that I am who I am and make no mistake about it I will not get injections for anyone, lower rates just to try and get ahead", damn sure ain't kissing no one's ass and further more how does one get a big name if companies choose not to shoot them even if they are of quality???? That was one that always bothered me but I don't have to worry about that anymore as I am off to pursue a life of helping others.

Too many people say that they want to help, too many fakes, when in reality they just want to try and bring you down. I can tell you friends are far and few between, so when you do come across a good one stick with him or her because trust me there are a lot of snakes that truly want to see you fail. You have to choose what is best for you because in the long run you will only know who you are and what you want "Never Let anyone Dictate your Life".

I did not give up for those who may have said that, I chose to leave. I know when its time to make a change for the better in my eyes. I just moved on. I have a good man by my side who is pulling for me just as hard as I am and anyone knows when you have that right man/woman you will make the right decision based on you and your future. I did not quit because of a man by no means I have always been a woman who makes her own decisions,just with his daily talks and words of encouragement helped me to choose a different way of life and I can say that I have "exhaled"

Nothing Last forever....."Good things come to and end" When something brings you more pain than pleasure its time to let it go.....I know that letting go is one of the hardest but if you truly want it you will have it and that goes for anything in life.





I truly want to thank Marie Luv and Nevaquit for all their help and support truly have been a shining star. There were many battles that I had to fight and not once did you all ever give up so please know I whole heartily appreciate it all.

Thank you to all my magnificent fans the years have been memorable...Mwah's

Heartless

I chose to title this blog heartless because some may say that is the way I am being or the way that this blog is portrayed. Let me just tell you that I am far from that, I just feel that I have done enough and been through enough in my lifetime to know what is right and what is wrong. I know some of you may have heard my little rant on twitter earlier today about my ex but let me break it down just a little bit more. I met this man in 2007 we dated for about a year. I decided that I wanted to move to California. The relationship itself was already complicated. That is a long story in itself and for those who know me personally know the background. This man is a man from back home whom I grew very fond of he was one that did not judge me wanted just the best for me no matter what. He allowed me to make my own decisions and was willing to be there through all of them( or so I thought).

We split up before I moved to California, I did not keep in touch with him because it wasn't fair to me or my heart, so I played the smart role and tended to my business. Now we are in 2010 and he contacts me on twitter. I wasn't mad by no means, I was actually elated to hear from him. We talked for hours just about everything that has been going on in his life as well as mine. We knew what we had was rather strong and thought that we could get it back so he asked if we can give it a try, I explained the distance and the fact that we have had time between us and I have met people along the way. That was fine for him not a problem. I asked for him to just whatever he does always keep it 100 with me and we will be fine.I told him to think of me just like he did before when I assumed he was telling me everything. So a few days had passed and I hadn't heard from him. I didn't worry being the woman that I am I just proceeded with my business as usual. I had the passwords to all his emails and facebook accounts so since I hadn't heard from him I changed all of them, I knew then that would get his attention. I didn't want him to really say much but just to tell me the truth. So when he finally called, of course I was furious, "he said my mouth was reckless" needless to say. (and to know me back then never) So it took him by surprise. I asked him since I haven't heard from you at least did you smash, he tells me no I didn't. Whatever who the hell believes that story so the week went on and I just knew that he was lying so finally Friday night I told him stop lying to me and tell me the truth and he was like yes I did smash but it didn't mean anything to me. I was like that is not the point I could care less that you smashed its the fact that you lied to me which only leaves me to believe that it did mean something to you. Don't say to me that you are sparing my feelings its you the one that is confused, you can't understand the mere fact that you went out and fucked and can't even own up to it what type of MAN does that...LMFAO So of course through the rest of the conversation I am just laughing at everything he is saying which is making him more heated at me, so he says why are you laughing and I was just like because no reason to get mad and shed tears no man is worth my tears anymore especially one that lies about the simplest things. He gives met this long drawn out explanation as to why it happened I don't need to know all that all I wanted to know is why you lied to me...uh duh....

I will and have never given up on love but I do know that love is blind and before I allow anyone to not let me see what is right in front of me I would much rather be by myself.

The moral to my blog is that,I am a good honest,humble woman with her flaws please don't mistake me but by far I am the one that you would not expect trust me. People get that misconception that oh she does porn blah blah blah, but meanwhile you know nothing about me read up on my blogs they will tell a story little by little about me. I am that all around lady that you would never imagine but I stay low-key and love who I am and make no excuses about it but trust me when I tell you I am very intelligent when its really comes down to it.

I am not the one to argue and cause a big splat over bullshit. I would rather kill you with kindness and see you eat off that than allow you to bring me into your misery. I won't allow anyone to tell me that I am not good enough or for your judgment to withstand the PHENOMENAL WOMAN I strive to become..


One Luv

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day all

I know that I haven't been living up to my promise and keep you all updated daily of my life. I apologize, I have just been rather busy making moves, films and my website. I have a lot of fruitful things coming forth this spring so be on the look out for many creative, productive and stupendous collaborations.

As you all know I just did a film for Red Light with Marie Luv and Michael Stefano, so make sure you are on the look out for it. My first ANAL scene dropped with Elegant Angles with L.T. Big Mommas 2 go check it out its a MUST SEE...I am very proud of myself. I am ready to do some anal scenes and hopefully do a few dp's and of course I will have them for my site. I know that there has been quite a delay on me getting my website up and I do apologize for that, however I do have a special treat for the first 10 members so trust me you want to sign up, as the date nears I will inform all what the "BIG SECRET" is.

I have been getting many emails about touring in DC, MD, NY and Miami I will be in your area soon. I love getting all your emails whether they are just to say hello or just to bug the shit out of me until I answer you I love them all and appreciate them all and do answer them all back as soon as possible. Please keep them coming destinydayfanmail@gmail.com.




Now down to some of the juicy things that I have been doing in my life. As you all may know in reading my blogs or even sometimes my twitter rants, that I have been single for the last 6 years and not that I mind because it was all by choice. I have met someone. No I will not tell you the name, however I will tell you this he does have a twitter account, trust me you aren't going to guess who he is. I am just dating this gentleman. You know me I take it slow and see where his head is at. I am a true observer. I will say this he is very special we get a long very well so far. He is a true gentleman. I have not found that often at least since I moved here to California. He seems to be very honest, of course I have my doubts but that is going to be me for a while...lol.... Anywhoo enough of the mushy stuff let's get down to the SEX(lol)....Let me tell you this man came over gave me the massage of a lifetime with some Vanilla Lavender massage oil. I didn't even have to ask he just saw that I was in need of a good rub down. ( I know you are saying no he was just trying to get some ass) uh no I was already going to do that trust me if you see this MAN you would have too...(damn I am getting wet thinking about the shit...lol)...but back to my massage this man rubbed me from head to toe, not just rub he licked, kissed every inch of my body and let me tell you fellas "some of y'all can take notes". Then it was my turn to handle my business I massaged the best part of his body with of course my watery mouth, sucked until I got lockjaw(lol) and still wanted to damn it just tasted so good:)....He left evidence on my neck which is a true NO NO NO in my book but HELL it was worth it...lol

I know you all ready my past blogs and are like damn this lady be having some good sex well let me just tell you this time was way different because feelings were involved the gazing in the eyes and just choking me ever so slightly as our tongues intertwined not wanting to let the moment escape us....weeew....yes it was just that exhilarating.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to my many friends, fans and whatever else you may call yourself. I know its rather late on my Happy New years, just been rather busy.

I brought my New Year in rather well, I can tell you this everyday so far has been very productive. I hung out with a few friends for New Years eve to ring in the New Year and then as the days went a long it just seemed like everything was falling into place. I did a photo shoot as most of you know with Ric Dones via ustream so most of you were able to see what goes on. I truly want to thank all those who chose to tune in even if some of you were being assholes, in case you haven't noticed by now I take the good with the bad and just brush off the "haters" but if its true constructive criticism then I take it humbly.



I had a sexual encounter with a celeb. I am not here bragging, please by no means I am just letting you all know how my New years has started off. Yes for those asking that was the first time I ever slept with a celeb "Hip Hop artist". I don't name drop as you all know...I have to keep some stuff for just me(lol).




I have made it a point to not let the haters surround my life with their negative energy or just words that mean no good(just speaking 2 be heard). The New Year has made me realize so much in life is taken for granted, so I vowed to make a point to make every moment count. I am truly focusing on my website, my webcam shows as well as building a bigger fan base.

Thank you for a fabulous 2009 year...Now Let's Make 2010 Our.

"Remember you are your own worse obstacle"